Be aware of your emotions and keep them by your side
Emotions, we all have them and we expresses them almost in all of our actions and behaviors. may times with the people around us and sometimes with our own-selves. Sometimes they are good like compassion, love, care and sometimes they leave bad effects on us or on those around us, like anger, irritation, harshness.
Whether it is good or bad, the best way to know your every emotion is to analyze it and then trying to find out the reason behind it.
It can help you to improve yourself better for you and for the people and the environment around you. May be its your home, family or your work place.
you may say it's obvious that i knows the reason of my emotions, such as why I am angry or upset or irritated. perhaps you may say i got angry on my kid just because he didn’t listen to me!
but the one that seems the obvious reason might not be the actual one!
emotions are connected to our brain and so to our core mind and that is why the control over your mind, mindfulness and the right mindset can help you understand your emotions as well. it can help you realize the WHY behind those emotions.
Why do i feel the way i do?
Why did i reacted like that the other day?
Why did i become angry on my friend?
Why did i say those harsh words to my team member?
Why did i yelled at my wife/husband, kids or any family member?
By being aware and understanding their nature and the reason behind them, you can sometimes control your emotions before it even occurs and thus can avoid the situations of being hurt or hurting someone.
What should you do to be aware of your emotions and reactions?
The very first indication that you became aware of your emotion, is that you felt guilty or sad or just uncomfortable after one particular incident.
so, next time when you feel sudden emotions, just pause at the moment and analyze your behavior. Try to sense the body language of the person facing you. their facial expression would make you realize about your reaction and to be aware that your sudden emotions are affecting that person in a bad way.
If it was instant that the emotion came, you reacted to it but did not get the time to pause and analyze, then its okay, because you can always spare a time later on to think upon the way you reacted or the emotion that occurred.
Second thing to be aware about your emotions, is to give it a time to think upon it and analyze them later on. as i just said, spare a time for that to be more aware.
Now lets talk about how you can have control over your emotions and reactions
- Ask yourself questions and try get some answers
When you get a time for yourself, which i prefer you should have once in a day, take a note of all these questions. You can use them as kind of template for any type of emotion you want to analyze.
- What was the reason that emotion occurred? or why i reacted the way i did?
- Is it something that has to do with my routine of the day?
- Is my mind busy with some other things that i have planned to do and couldn’t make it done? and that’s what making me stressed?
- Can i do anything about this particular emotion when it occurs next time?
- How often does this emotions occurs?
- Is this emotion going to affect my relationships?
Don’t rush for the exact answers or even if you don’t get any answer at all. because the first step is to start analyzing your emotions and to ask questions.
2. Think of the possible answers
You have listed the questions to ask yourself, now let’s try to think of the possible answers.
Don’t stress yourself to find the exact answers. you can just think of what comes naturally in your mind when you ask those questions.
Let me help you with some of the possible answers you could think for above questions.
What was the reason that emotion occurred? or why i reacted the way i did?
well this can be any obvious reason that you can think of.
for example, because my son didn’t listen to what i said.
because i was worried about the work or something else completely different from that situation.
Is it something that has to do with my routine of the day?
may be you wasted your time in something that wasn’t important.
may be you had a hard time waking up little early to go to the gym
or as simple as, you just didn’t had a coffee in the morning!!
Is my mind busy with some other things that i have planned to do and couldn’t make it done? and that’s what making me stressed?
sometimes we have something running in the background in our mind. about the tasks or the schedule that we planned to do. but somehow we couldn’t make it done and it is stuck in our mind. so it’s there running in the back and making you stressed.
Can i do anything about this particular emotion when it occurs next time?
don’t stress much and just note down whatever comes in your mind when you ask this question to yourself.
- maybe, yes i should just leave that place for a moment
- I should start counting numbers, if that works for you
- I should take a deep breath to calm down your mind
How often does this emotions occurs?
in a day, week or month? If you can recall the exact numbers then its good enough.
Is this emotion going to affect my relationships?
answer to this question can be, Yes (if it continues), No or I don’t know yet.
3. Identify the work-arounds
Think about the work-arounds. again, these are not the solutions yet, you are just trying to figure out what you should do for a particular emotion that you want to have control on and be better at next time. It can be one or multiple work-arounds for one particular emotion.
4. Prioritize those work-arounds
Now you have a list of questions and the possible work-arounds that “you think would work”, try to think about their effectiveness and give it numbers between 1 to 3, where 1 is the least effective and 3 is most.
for example, for the emotion of being suddenly angry, your work-arounds could be,
just stop at the moment and leave that place — 3
take a deep breath to relax mind — 2
start counting numbers from 1 to 10–1
5. apply those work-around and keep repeating this process until you see the result
Now its a time to apply the work-around in actual scenario.
next time when it occurs, be aware of it and apply any of the work-around you rated the most.
You won’t see the result right after away, so you will need to repeat this this until you think you have achieve a control over your emotion and reactions.
How can you say that? simple, it doesn’t occur anymore and it is occurring very rare than it used to be!
Remember keep trying and consistency is the key here.
I hope this can help you to identify, be aware and control your emotions and to help you be a better version of you, for yourself and for the others you love and care for.
With the right mindset you can be there and can see the different YOU!
So, if you like this then please give it claps, leave the comment and checkout my other posts. Follow me for more of the mindset stuffs like this.
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